[0.0s] previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[30.6s] you're a man of the world so it's it's fine well i thought you were going to offer me a place to stay
[35.0s] no that's cool no all right okay so go i am ken i am stretching my maybe limbs
[45.3s] i'm bursting free from my my side womb the four of you are walking down the the alleyway
[51.8s] and it's getting pretty dark moot you notice what looks like a young boy meet me in the
[59.6s] graveyard guys it's so creepy in here what do you mean it's just i mean it's dark and i know
[64.7s] it's the final resting place of a lot of people you see a small boy in a dark hooded
[70.9s] tunic he has a third eye right in the middle of his forehead the demon gates are opening
[77.4s] your destiny it calls
[101.4s] welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons we're a D&D fifth edition actual play podcast and i'm
[106.3s] your dungeon master Russ More and with me today is tom laird hey that's me i play moot he is a
[113.4s] half orc wild magic sorcerer and Amy More i play sullivan slight a lightfoot halfling rogue
[124.6s] and also carla max dead yes i play narixious Akra who you probably know as glim she's a
[133.4s] dragonborn pAlydin and she's gonna save the world you know i've heard about this this
[138.9s] destiny gets around like people are starting to hear about it which is crazy i can't wait to
[144.7s] see if she can cash this check that her mouth has been writing first real adventure that you
[152.8s] go on all dead oh could you imagine how disappointing well maybe it's a good life
[159.2s] lesson though because if that happens i mean she'll be dead so is it a life lesson doesn't
[164.4s] matter no yeah because if that happens she'll be dead it won't matter and if it doesn't happen
[170.8s] then there was no harm in her believing very strongly in herself it's true so we should all
[175.9s] believe very strongly in ourselves what i'm saying this goes a long way that's the moral
[179.6s] of the story yeah where we believe in you and where you should believe in yourself is
[183.8s] over on Patreon Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast where if you join our community you as a
[189.5s] patron among all of the amazing amazing exclusive content that we have over there
[195.4s] they should make exclusive an easier word to say super secret super secret
[202.8s] stuff that we have over there but also you get an episode dedicated to you like today's
[208.5s] patron nate hacking thank you i believe in you nate that's right and thank you for believing in us
[217.9s] yes thank you nate
[224.9s] carlos i'm trying to turn this into a motivational podcast secretly i don't know
[229.1s] if you guys have noticed i have noticed a few things with this storyline this is a backdoor
[233.9s] pilot for my other podcast that is a motivational podcast why aren't we putting
[239.0s] this in the production house here like let's capitalize on this let's not send it somewhere
[243.4s] else it wouldn't be a secret podcast if it was over here he's like pilot for a new podcast
[249.9s] yeah let's do it done sold get it up on Patreon i can't do any more podcasts you guys
[256.2s] i'm a teacher now yeah amy went and got herself a real job i did yay it's all right
[262.5s] well you still got to carve out tuesday nights i can carve out tuesday night good because it's on the
[267.8s] calendar for the rest of forever it's just a repeating date that and it was like end date
[274.0s] and rest was like no weekly till the end of time you know forever until tia matt inevitably
[281.9s] rises and kills us all good there's a survey out on the wizards page right now for dnd
[289.2s] players and i was at work today and i had to spare 20 minutes it's a very long survey
[293.7s] they do them every quarterly but yeah yeah but uh there was numerous questions about like how
[298.2s] often do you play dnd in a week and how and it was just like i just had to put so many
[302.8s] answers in about how i play like at least once a week and i was like oh god what have i done
[309.9s] with my life and it's like well how many how many groups are you a part of and i was like
[313.2s] well currently two maybe sometimes a third oh god it's too much you are right in their
[319.3s] wheelhouse you're who they go after fuck it let's play dnd the wind around you
[330.2s] begins to kick up as you stand face to face with this ghostly three-eyed boy
[335.4s] way the demon gates are opening he says your destiny it calls
[345.4s] anyone else curious that this little guy sounds like a full-grown man
[349.8s] what's a demon gate i'm more curious about the three eyes are you talking about my destiny
[356.0s] i don't like a group are you talking to me i mean you guys are tied into my destiny
[360.8s] we're all we are we're all together on this crazy roller coaster ride of saving the world
[366.5s] oh shit i didn't know that i don't know if i really signed up for that though
[371.0s] oh um well maybe we should talk about it later how about this kid with the full-grown man voice
[377.0s] and the three eyes and the ghostly presence right i mean yeah i would love to know more
[380.9s] about this yeah we're gonna circle back to this whole destiny thing though later i think
[385.0s] like this is something that probably should have came up organically you know like over time
[389.5s] like it's been a couple years and you're just like we all just kind of know it but now
[394.7s] it's a lot of pressure yeah it feels like it feels like maybe this is something that like
[401.4s] would cause people to maybe crumble under said pressure
[406.6s] i don't know sully what do you what do you feel about this so what about
[410.1s] this kid with the three eyes and the manly voice i just told you some important shit what
[414.1s] are you doing res is dying there's a good chance we did carla you know i don't remember shit
[421.6s] i somehow i was so i was so sure we talked about this
[429.1s] i don't i don't think we did i think it's true maybe we did
[434.3s] i feel like i've said very clear things to both of you about how we were supposed to meet and
[440.2s] well yeah i just thought you were just super enthusiastic yeah and you always talk about
[445.0s] how like your destiny is to save the world i just didn't realize it was like a team thing
[451.1s] nobody can save the world by themselves our destiny is to save the world it's just nice
[456.2s] to be included you know i mean i guess maybe you're right mood the boy looks to his
[462.6s] imaginary watch this is not the kind of threesome i imagine myself having that's all i'm
[467.4s] saying and says i don't realize what i've just walked into here i don't have much time he sounds
[476.4s] like a boy he knows i'm here who knows you're here and as he says that the ground at the base
[487.4s] of the tombstones around you begins to shake why isn't this isn't good follow the signs
[498.6s] help those you can
[502.3s] and be prepared for battle
[506.7s] cracks begin to form as earth is heaved up near your feet
[511.0s] oh what exactly are we going to be battling though
[517.8s] the boy could be more specific the boy looks around nervously at this point and says you
[524.6s] mean specific that's what i said he lead he leaps towards you and suddenly his face is
[532.2s] right in front of you and his lips begin moving like they're trying to form words as
[537.4s] he begins to fade from sight and you hear one final word ring out in your mind
[547.7s] and then he's gone and the earth settles the wind dies down and all is calm
[558.3s] guys i think that we're about to be
[560.9s] be i think that orcas are orcas are gonna take guva
[569.9s] whale people are gonna some kind of underground whale people is this like is there is this
[577.4s] anything to do with orcs because i'm a half orc but i've never heard of orcas oh you know
[585.9s] what though maybe i maybe he said dorkus yo how much do you guys know about about sings
[592.6s] oh god jesus how long you been here i've been here the whole time i don't
[597.0s] has this been the most quiet you've ever been in your whole life jesus look my my voice
[601.8s] are he was voicing somebody else at this moment so he could not i don't know what that means
[609.1s] can i roll a history check to see if i've heard of orcas yes absolutely i don't worry
[616.3s] history or religion whichever my religion should be better but it's not somehow well maybe not all
[624.0s] religion like you just have the one religion you know um that's only a 12 yeah with the 12
[631.0s] you definitely have heard of orcas he is the um demon lord prince of the undead
[638.7s] that currently resides in the abyss which you believe to be the home of the demons of the world
[652.6s] that you know so maybe he was just insulting us right he was like dorkus no no you guys
[660.5s] orcas he's like the the prince of the undead demon lord lives in the abyss where
[667.3s] all the demons live didn't you ever hear scary stories about him when you were a kid
[673.4s] what and this guy is coming for us well i mean kind of kind of sounds like maybe
[683.8s] do you think he is coming for you three specifically or maybe just the world in general
[690.5s] i mean your destiny could be to stop certain aspects but
[694.6s] but maybe maybe you are thinking very highly of yourselves well it's apparently our destiny to
[702.8s] save the world that is true and this orcas fellow seems like maybe he wants the opposite
[708.8s] of that yeah but i don't think that means he's coming after us he's probably coming after the
[715.2s] world and then maybe someone should get in between him and the world and have a little
[721.0s] aren't those someone's us well yeah but that's what i'm saying is like i don't think like oh
[726.9s] so you think prince of the underworld okay i got you i got you even knows about us right like
[734.6s] he will probably crush us like ants should we like speaking of which i used to be a
[741.0s] professional uh christiologist oh and i used to go from home to home and
[746.2s] and tom keep it there and i used to crush things for a living like i mean you mentioned
[752.6s] ants but other things too oh yeah the insects um rocks that are small enough to crush
[760.6s] nuts did you do a lot of nut work did you ever crush any you crushed all the nuts did you
[768.2s] oh did i crush what oranges did you ever crush an orange
[772.4s] um what about grapes oh yeah i crushed a few grapes in my time of course oranges though
[780.6s] that's weird you squeeze an orange well i mean really squeezing is just crushing from a different
[785.8s] angle slowly crushing yes it's much more controlled i sorry have you guys ever ever been a
[795.2s] a crush christiologist well you changed the name of the job so well it depends on whether
[801.0s] you're using it as a verb right now
[808.6s] that's that's cool so i mean wait to be fair we don't know the ins and outs of crush ology or
[814.6s] crush ology or the terminology of crush ology so we just as always have to defer to our
[821.7s] expert in all matters job related yeah no worries about i'm used to being around people
[828.5s] who just don't quite have the same standard of understanding of the world that i have
[833.4s] so what are we going to do about this darkest guy um well training montage all right this is
[842.5s] great did we ever um all make out drunkenly no no not yet where did we find did we figure
[851.7s] out where ken ended up who's ken ken is your lump your best friend we were on the trail yeah
[861.5s] no sorry that's just where we've we were trying to find can and we ran into a boy and no no
[867.4s] the whole reason we came here was we were following ken and then that boy showed up well
[872.4s] i thought that boy was ken i thought like you know mystery solved maybe you maybe you maybe
[877.4s] you three remembered incorrectly but we was looking for ken and then and then the boy wonder
[882.5s] over here who is shorty shorty sin he he saw the ghosty boy down the alley down in the alley
[888.9s] and he's like come to the graveyard and so we did and we had the baguette on the way it was
[894.7s] very good and now we are here yes and we're a little bit more french than we were when we
[900.3s] first came this is the same accent i just edited an entire episode it was french there
[906.3s] was a lot of talk of baguettes that's true that was very very horny for baguettes so many baguettes
[912.1s] we went to el torcho's that's just with the meat with all the meat so much meat cooked the
[916.4s] meats it was so wonderful um did you get from the three-eyed boy any kind of ken vibes i
[922.2s] know you guys were really like connected i guess i thought these were two separate weird
[928.9s] male presenting people people tight one tiny that came out of your body and one floating and
[937.4s] ghosty and three is what i don't know it's like maybe the tiny thing that came out of my body
[941.9s] grew up real fast i mean at first it wasn't even a lump and then it was a lump and then
[946.6s] it was too big to be a lump this thing's probably 18 feet by now oh well that'll make
[952.8s] them easier to find that's true looks up at the tree did this did this three-eyed boy leave
[958.6s] any footprints because because ken was leaving footprints all over the place
[964.2s] well if you guys are just gonna poke holes in my theory maybe like like offer something new
[970.1s] are there more footprints can we should we go back to the alley i don't know i mean i think
[975.7s] the the we were the the everything went dry for us because we took a turn and now i don't
[982.9s] remember where i am also look at the ground underneath our feet do you guys think dead people
[988.4s] are gonna start to grab at us at any minute i mean i wasn't until now i didn't think so
[994.6s] yet i mean graveyards are places where people are put to rest and they're very
[998.5s] peaceful and lovely and i don't know why you have to room graveyards for me
[1001.2s] me why i didn't do this graveyards are her favorite time to go sit down and have quiet her time
[1009.9s] are you spying on her no how do you know it's her favorite quiet it just seemed like she was
[1016.6s] inferring that you were ruining her quiet time well i suggest we move this conversation maybe
[1023.1s] out of the graveyard because it's super creepy as fuck oh i mean okay okay do you want it we
[1028.0s] can go back to the alley and see but sure let's i do think we sort of ran out of footprints but
[1034.3s] maybe okay you you head back through the streets uh they've quieted down some since the last time
[1040.3s] you you passed through uh it's still very late at night and you make it back to the alleyway
[1045.8s] where you had seen the three-eyed boy the first time or moot had seen the three-eyed boy
[1050.2s] the first time um and back into the alley can i make a perception roll to see if i see
[1055.8s] anything new in terms of tracks or anything like that uh you may make an investigation yes
[1061.0s] i want to do that oh it's a 920 oh i rolled a two so i rolled a six so you investigate so good
[1071.8s] i do i'm gonna take this shit seriously sully's like i can't believe i forgot about ken there
[1077.1s] momentarily just a slight lapse but he feels terrible about it like forgetting you have a
[1082.8s] mother or something um i mean the world is crystal clear to you um you i'm in my mind palace
[1092.4s] you being that you didn't really remember what you were doing you don't entirely remember what
[1099.4s] you were looking for specifically what is it you're looking for looking for any sort of
[1105.1s] trace that might tell me where ken went
[1113.8s] you you don't see anything to tell you where ken went okay well i make a big show of it though
[1121.0s] i go down on one knee i i you know pick up some dust and i touch it to my tongue and i'm like
[1129.3s] the trail's gone cold so is it like on ice it is kind of chilly tonight yeah i guess if
[1139.3s] what if we're speaking metaphysically sure well maybe we just need a good sleepy sleep on it and
[1146.6s] then um can someone sleep in my room with me uh sure yeah absolutely it's could somebody
[1155.1s] out sleep in my room with me of course okay cool i like not that i'm scared anything but i mean
[1161.4s] let's face it last time i slept by myself i developed a lump who developed a consciousness
[1166.2s] of his own and escaped so you know there's that allegedly i mean should we should we all
[1171.0s] sleep in the same room and like we can go off on shifts and yeah oh yeah sure that sounds
[1177.7s] like a real good plan move that's how we do it on the road you should uh you should jot
[1182.6s] that down the whole like doing shifts thing that's how like it seems like an important thing to
[1187.6s] to remember can i borrow your pen oh it's a pencil but sure that's not gonna work
[1193.7s] sully wanted to write it on his hand okay so you head back to the uh monastery the church
[1199.4s] the monastery temple wherever you're going temple that's the word i was looking for you head
[1203.5s] back to the temple um and you all pile into one room who's who's taking for
[1212.0s] who's taking first shift dibs not on first shift i'll take first shift he lays down
[1218.4s] and is immediately asleep um glim i presume you are sleeping as well yes
[1225.6s] um hillip has followed you and he is also in the room so it just uh yeah we're just uh
[1232.3s] yeah it's cozy up here all nice and warm and and good and stuff yeah
[1242.4s] okay sorry sorry no talking um all right uh moot roll me percentile dice oh fancy
[1258.2s] that is a 54
[1263.0s] this is not not what i had planned for so i gotta just gotta go with it well we had zero plan so
[1269.0s] we decided to go to bed like like all good storytellers do when when they've run out of
[1278.0s] things to talk about the night um okay so you rolled me a 54 uh and then also roll me a
[1287.0s] a constitution saving throw
[1292.8s] plus three that is a 17 you you stay up for your shift and you hear a few arguments going on
[1301.7s] outside the window you take a look out and you see um a a goblin and a human arguing in
[1310.1s] the alleyway the goblin seems to be trying to shake down the human from what you can tell
[1317.5s] but that's the only thing of real note all right i gently wake up glim
[1325.6s] and head on to sleep myself what kind of wake or upper are you are you like a gentle
[1333.0s] shoulder shoulder shoulder nudge like a poke in the face kind of person
[1340.6s] do you just moon someone get your ass cheeks close enough to them until they
[1344.5s] wake up in real life yes but in this game no okay fair enough um okay glim you wake up
[1354.8s] roll me percentile dice please 82
[1361.8s] and then a just read a piece of that by accident constitution savings okay
[1371.5s] oh i don't know that's a three oh god
[1376.8s] um you get up and you're you kind of you're you're pacing around you're really tired
[1385.1s] when you wake up um weren't quite ready to get up and you you sit down in a chair and
[1394.6s] kind of catch yourself your head kind of drops and then you find yourself
[1401.0s] and your pants are on your arms and over your head and your shirt is on your legs your socks
[1409.3s] and boots are laced up on your hands and a stuffed horse's head is crudely attached
[1414.6s] by stringing onto your underwear and back side
[1422.5s] and for a second you're not quite sure but you get this terrible feeling and something
[1429.2s] feeling and something unspeakable and foul is inside the stuffed head you look down and just
[1439.0s] before you figure out what it is you snap awake to hillup being like hey hey you you fell asleep
[1446.7s] oh oh my oh i had the oh i had the craziest dream and i'm like touching myself to make sure
[1456.4s] i guess i don't have a horse's head tied to my butt i don't see any no there's no horse's
[1461.9s] head there my shoes are where they're supposed to be and yeah oh okay okay you're tripping balls
[1470.0s] on that meat sweats there i don't know maybe maybe that's it oh i don't know okay well you
[1478.3s] slept through your your watch i think it is sully's turn now i'm going to go wake him up
[1482.9s] gently sully sully it's time to wake up it's time to wake up in the morning yeah hold on a second
[1495.8s] if you're talking to me why don't you do the fucking shift no you're already awake no see
[1501.8s] it's your turn you took three z's
[1508.6s] fine you're like like he gets up like head last if at all possible like he's laying down and
[1517.4s] like sits up and like drags his head along and then like snaps it up and he's like yeah okay
[1526.6s] it's fine as soon as you're up and out of bed hillup kind of crawls in behind you it's like
[1534.0s] oh this is that warm spot it's very cozy in here yes because they fart a lot well that is
[1539.4s] okay i was sleeping in the corner on the cold cold stone was because you actually have a place
[1544.5s] to stay hillup i'm not even sure why you're here you said we needed to sleep in the same
[1548.6s] room so we were all safe good night yes sweet dreams my prince oh god everybody else is asleep
[1558.8s] roll me a percentile dice and followed by a constitution saving throw obviously 50
[1565.8s] uh nope no oh that's yeah yeah well my zeros five and a five yeah is zero that's five okay
[1576.6s] 105 just five
[1582.2s] 105 yeah i'm an overachiever and a constitution saving throw please you got it boss
[1593.1s] 13 okay what are you doing
[1600.6s] uh pacing i guess i'm probably looking through people's stuff actually that sounds right any
[1610.7s] bags or satchels that's been left piled around uh okay uh you hear as you're doing
[1617.8s] this you hear um feet shuffling outside the door
[1625.3s] i go to the door and i listen as you get to the door you listen you don't you don't hear
[1633.4s] them once you get to the door i don't pay too much attention to it there are other people
[1641.4s] staying in this temple so it could be someone shuffling off to the bathroom
[1646.0s] just truffle shuffling their way to the bathroom
[1650.6s] after a few moments you hear the shuffling again at the door
[1657.7s] i go and i slowly oh no i don't i go i pick up one of my daggers and then i slowly open the
[1671.2s] door uh tom and carla take off your headphones for a moment please
[1682.5s] you open the door you think you see a shadow dip down the hall quickly oh yeah you think
[1690.8s] you'd get away from me a fucking shadow man i pursue you run down the hall um run or you're
[1698.8s] going stealthily i'm stealthy yeah make a stealth check
[1704.4s] well that's a 19 plus like i don't know a million you're you're like the knight you're moving
[1709.3s] quick um you get around a corner and you see a figure you get around a corner down followed
[1716.4s] it goes down the stairs and this figure is in the kitchen and uh it's kind of bent over
[1722.0s] the table like leaned over the table not a figure you recognize
[1729.0s] but like corporeal yeah like he's a solid guy um similar size to you so not very tall but yeah
[1739.4s] what's cooking good looking
[1743.5s] the figure straightens up
[1747.8s] and takes a step back and turns around and you are staring into a mirror
[1755.4s] well i wasn't wrong with the good-looking pot
[1759.8s] when you are hit from behind and knocked unconscious
[1769.4s] you fall to the ground and then the next thing you know you wake up at the end of your watch
[1785.3s] um
[1788.2s] welcome to the middle we're here yeah to tell you that you can win a book or a shirt a really cool
[1798.2s] book yeah and a really cool shirt uh jinx only cool prizes only cool prizes but you can win
[1806.0s] a copy of balder's gate descent into avernus or avernus whichever way you want to say it
[1813.6s] whatever your pleasure is or some sweet swag from Dumbgeons and Dragons and i think while you
[1821.0s] could only win a book or a t-shirt someone will win a book no you had to write the first time
[1826.5s] two people you know what i'm trying to say two people will win one person will win a book
[1830.8s] and one person will win a t-shirt and the odds are real good for you to do that all you got
[1836.4s] to do is rate review and or subscribe it's really easy and then share it with us that
[1841.4s] sounds way too easy to win stuff i mean surely it's more complicated that's it all you got to
[1847.0s] do is rate us on your rating on your app five stars hopefully five stars i mean we wouldn't be
[1853.5s] sad if it was five stars we wouldn't be sad if it was five stars leave a review tell them
[1857.4s] which joke you liked or maybe just how we've changed your life oh boy that's a lot of
[1863.5s] pressure oh wow yeah or just a keyword or something you've heard in an episode just
[1868.6s] anything i was just being just a little too demanding i think it could literally just say
[1873.4s] it's fun to listen to while i do chores all those and more all those and more or just take
[1879.5s] a little screenshot of your app there make sure your social insurance number or credit card
[1885.8s] information is there um and then post that to twitter and or facebook using the hashtag dumb
[1892.2s] dragon cast or i mean you have to share it to us just screenshot showing that you're
[1896.0s] subscribed to the show and you're good to go i like the way that rhymed so all you got to do
[1902.3s] is rate review subscribe show us that you do that and then you're entered to win bauldersgate
[1908.1s] descent into avernus or avernus or some sweet swag both are great options and when when do
[1915.9s] they have until to do that thank you for asking this very important question carla we've
[1921.0s] got until november 30th that's the end of the month and then we'll let you know who wins
[1926.6s] we'll let them know on there but then we'll be back in on december 4th and tell you who won the
[1931.4s] sweet goods so you may as well just do it now because you're already listening to us you're
[1934.9s] probably already on your device so you can just go click that five or up to you stars and
[1940.5s] then take a picture and send it to us right now and then you'll be entered and you don't
[1943.1s] have to think about it until maybe we tell you you won that's right that'd be awesome
[1948.8s] all right well thank you for doing that just preemptively and congratulations to the winner
[1955.0s] on november 30th yeah winners winners okay back to the episode
[1971.7s] welcome to facing fate an anthological audio fiction actual play podcast
[1978.8s] what does that mean outside of being amazing alliteration well it means when you subscribe
[1984.4s] to facing fate you will find two 10 episode seasons every year starting january 2020
[1991.0s] in the facing fate feed each season will take you through a different setting different genre
[1996.4s] and different characters going through thrilling exhilarating and maybe hilarious
[2000.5s] collaborative stories i'm your game master rust more and along with my friends amy more
[2006.6s] carla max dead and tom laird we will bring you along on a shared journey together season one of
[2012.8s] facing fate titled lunar corp begins january 2020 lunar corp is a sci-fi thriller placing
[2020.1s] you among the crew of a near future moon base mining for an alternate energy source
[2026.1s] but the decisions and hasty thinking of mankind in this time place the crew and the
[2032.1s] in danger subscribe to facing fate in your favorite podcast app to hear sneak peeks
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[2049.8s] to weekly releases of season one now join the crew of lunar corp main base
[2055.4s] at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast
[2073.3s] facing fate a dumb dragons production
[2076.6s] and you get to the end of your watch and i mean it was late at night i'm assuming four hour
[2087.9s] watches it's probably morning time now so the three others hillip glim and moot you begin to
[2095.7s] wake with kind of the morning light coming through the window when sully is seated there
[2101.7s] finishing up his watch
[2102.7s] anything happen on anybody's shift mine was pretty pretty snooze fest
[2111.2s] did you literally fall asleep no i was awake the whole time just nothing happened
[2116.5s] i have a confession to me oh i did fall and you don't have oh you don't have i fell i fell
[2122.8s] asleep i have to be honest we could have kept it a secret between friends i did fall asleep
[2129.2s] i had a crazy dream um what happened in your dream can you imagine what hillip could have done
[2135.1s] to us in our sleep if if he was the only one awake i mean i think he was the only one awake
[2140.6s] because i fell asleep that's what i'm saying i was awake when when you were sleeping but i
[2145.4s] also trust hillip i don't think he did anything i don't think anything happened i think everything's
[2149.9s] fine but i did have a crazy dream and my clothes were on all weird and there was a
[2153.5s] horse head tied to my butt and i don't know you know dreams they don't really make sense
[2158.1s] she was stripping balls on the meat sweats i figure that's fucked up man yeah yeah that'll do it
[2163.7s] it sometimes happens you see and hallucinate crazy different things
[2169.7s] anyways so everybody's all good then yeah i'm good yeah yeah nothing happened i sat here
[2178.2s] stared at you assholes while you're sleeping you stared at the assholes well if you didn't
[2184.8s] sleep just spread eagle it's the most comfortable that way yeah i'm gonna have to burn that bed
[2191.2s] you should at least have pants on i did at first so they're like spring loaded when i sleep
[2199.1s] oh god that's not the only thing too man you mean you gotta get that under control you're
[2203.0s] sleeping in a whole room full of people anyway who's who wants breakfast yeah anything to end
[2209.3s] this conversation i don't know how we got you but it's just happened i will put my pants back on
[2216.5s] that's fine we yeah i thought that that was maybe yeah yeah i mean we're in a temple and
[2222.2s] we're gonna go get breakfast so it would be yeah i'm sorry even if we were not in a temple
[2227.7s] about to eat like dinner you should sell your pants on me true i mean if you were in your
[2233.1s] own home alone you can and should do whatever you want sure yeah sorry i didn't i didn't mean
[2241.7s] to it just you sleep you you you fall into the routine of usual things of spring-loaded pants
[2249.3s] i mean spring-loaded pants is the sounds that they sometimes make i get yeah okay so breakfast
[2258.3s] sounds good sounds tasty okay uh you unless you say otherwise you'd probably head downstairs
[2265.5s] to the kitchen i would assume yeah um who's cooking up what are you doing guys
[2274.6s] chef sally's in the house oh see i was picturing that like at the temple there was probably
[2280.0s] one of the people that just made like i don't know oatmeal or like some very simple plain
[2286.1s] temple food but i like this chef sully ideas yeah i want to see where chef sully takes us
[2292.8s] i'm gonna ransack this motherfucking place i'm finding eggs like i'm finding herbs i'm finding
[2301.6s] all kinds of stuff and i'm making omelets the omelets did we should i go get some baguettes
[2310.2s] for the omelets ah yeah man nothing's better than crusty bread with eggs get at it okay i shall be
[2318.9s] right back i think that's the nicest way i've ever told him to get lost i think you're right
[2327.3s] it's been a while it's i feel like we're coming due
[2331.6s] so sully starts to cook and you know he's getting creative with the ingredients he is
[2343.9s] he's dipping into his satchel a little bit pulling some special special ingredients for
[2352.6s] everybody oh sprinkle here dash here sauteing kind of showing off his skills a little bit
[2361.5s] chopping but not looking at what he's chopping like looking at you guys you know is he doing
[2365.8s] that thing where he like flicks the pan with his wrist and causes everything to like absolutely
[2371.3s] he's got a pan full of mushrooms and he's like he throws a clove of garlic crushed up in there
[2378.2s] he's getting a little weird with he's like you like that yeah you like that sizzle he does
[2383.2s] a little shimmy when he says sizzle sully you've had so many different jobs and you're
[2388.1s] so skilled at this i assume you must have been a cook or a chef or oh absolutely i was
[2394.2s] a foodatier oh and is that like a cook or a chef well foodatier is just like it's like a
[2401.6s] step above a chef really because i mean you have to know all about the food and where the
[2406.3s] food is grown and if the food is good and you know things like that so um that's how i
[2412.6s] know how to get the freshest ingredients and um and how to saute like a motherfucking wizard
[2419.9s] oh i mean you are it looks so good and it smells incredible i can't wait to eat
[2425.8s] i um finish up the omelets and i and i serve them up should we wait for hillip i mean cold
[2432.7s] eggs aren't good we should just go ahead right oh yeah god no nobody likes cold eggs
[2438.6s] uh hillip runs back in he looks like he's been through a whirlwind of a fight and he's got like
[2446.8s] four baguettes just everywhere shirts untucked whoa i'm back what uh what happened this is a
[2456.6s] very quick run i had to fight off several older ladies who were also there for the baguettes
[2462.5s] i said did you not let them have any of the baguettes well i needed one for each of my my
[2467.3s] pally pals and the old third ladies say they didn't want to wait for the next batch so
[2474.0s] i had to pay a premium and also steal one hence the running oh um oh well it's gonna
[2484.2s] break your heart i'm not gonna eat a whole fucking loaf of bread that's excessive man
[2492.5s] yeah moot has learned a valuable lesson about carb intake since his time in the towns
[2500.0s] so what you're saying is is one loaf probably would have suffice yeah maybe
[2504.1s] maybe two maximum you didn't need to get four uh here is one loaf i have some apologies to
[2514.6s] make i shall return in a moment do you do you want to eat some eggs for the road or
[2521.3s] yeah i mean eat your eggs before you go no i it's really probably very important that i go apologize
[2528.0s] to mrs rubenstein
[2532.2s] because she's she probably might not walk the same again oh boy hillop i shall return
[2543.0s] and he leaves with three baguettes oh boy it takes his bread seriously that one
[2549.8s] yeah he really does it's bread and his meat i'd hate to see how he is about cheese maybe we'll
[2555.6s] find out all right everybody's digging in yeah everybody roll a d20 see how well sully cooked
[2565.6s] just you roll a d20 too i roll a d20 15 six
[2569.4s] six four this isn't my best work moot you're you kind of filtered through it and you see an
[2580.6s] interesting ingredient in there it looks familiar to you you can't quite place it
[2587.1s] but it's not one that is regularly available at least through your omelet purchasing
[2594.5s] since you've been in waterty but it looks familiar to me yeah well yeah something about it looks
[2599.9s] familiar you can't quite put your finger on it sully what uh what's what's what's this
[2608.4s] and i've got it on my fork oh dad that's only the freshest ingredients no but like what is it
[2617.7s] no but like what is it
[2621.5s] well you know it's like uh like a like a you know it's like one of the the flavor like
[2633.2s] it's like one of like the flavor makers
[2639.4s] she said it's so gross yeah it doesn't sound great it doesn't but i'm gonna call every
[2645.3s] ingredient i'm i put in food now flavor maker well i mean i i recognize pretty much everything
[2652.5s] else in here but this one i don't i don't know what this one is and i've had some food allergy
[2657.8s] issues in the past so i'm just gonna i'm gonna put this one to the side well i was
[2662.2s] getting saying lean you don't know if you're gonna be allergic to it until you put it in
[2665.8s] your mouth yeah that's not usually how i like to find that out i just i just don't i think
[2670.9s] you should just try it i just i know it just doesn't look too good to me but it's so good
[2676.7s] what's glim doing no just eating just eating observing this conversation it's very likes
[2682.1s] it yeah it's very delicious glim you liking it it's it's great i love it when people cook for
[2688.5s] me thank you oh you're welcome i mean i appreciate it too i just you hurt my feelings
[2697.8s] i'm sorry is sully also eating because it'd be weird
[2702.2s] he's not what if i chopped it up into smaller pieces sully make a persuasion
[2711.9s] oh dang that's only a 12 versus moot's insight
[2718.7s] oh nat 20 fuck
[2722.0s] fuck um moot you get the feeling that sully isn't sully's hiding something
[2730.9s] and it has to do with whatever this ingredient is that you're
[2734.7s] not suspicious of but you're you're curious about yeah i just i just wish i knew actually
[2740.2s] what it was it's a lot easier to make an informed decision when you know these things
[2745.6s] all right it's called jiggledote
[2751.3s] and it's an ancient ingredient of my halfling people it's like a mixture between a fern shoot
[2760.6s] and a water pond reed it's chewy and it absorbs the flavors while also being a flavor maker
[2776.7s] it has two roles in food as the door opens back up and hillup comes in even more disheveled
[2786.0s] hair everywhere well guys i gave the baguettes back to mrs rubenstein and she was not happy
[2795.4s] with sir hillip here you're missing a big chunk of hair off the left side
[2799.9s] oh yeah i think it will grow back at the at a certain time maybe when your mustache
[2804.6s] grows back too oh so it's almost there right did you make did you make some breakfast so
[2812.0s] that we could share this one single baguette not to each have our own baguettes yes these eggs are
[2820.4s] delicious but um i'm so curious like can i just see the thing with i want to i'm so curious now
[2826.6s] i don't think you have to pick it apart if like let's just say you're gonna eat cake but
[2833.0s] all you see is like the dry flour and then the raw eggs and then all that stuff and you're
[2838.7s] gonna think it's gross well i wouldn't call those things a cake what is the problem here
[2844.2s] we are just having breakfast all of us friends so did you make something yucky
[2849.8s] no man it's good here you go no they're delicious eggs did you make it just the way i
[2854.1s] like it yeah great that's cool all right he takes a bite see he'll believe it again people
[2863.8s] are more than welcome to it i just it's just not for me okay okay i'm gonna stop pushing i'm
[2870.2s] sorry mood i can see this is a sore subject for you so it's it's all right don't don't eat my
[2875.4s] special ingredient i mean my eggs must be gone by now i've just been eating this whole time
[2881.5s] so i don't know what they're arguing about you have made it's very very very nice and
[2885.7s] very good make a perception check
[2892.3s] that is a 16 you kind of glance down at hillops plate and
[2901.5s] you could be mistaken because he's eating it kind of quickly but you don't see that ingredient
[2906.2s] on his plate i don't know what to do with this information russ
[2916.5s] okay that's almost just like spit cake to that that's what these covers are for right
[2926.2s] the spray of beer that might come out of your mouth when my nose is where it almost came out
[2930.5s] oh yes uh yeah so i just kind of make a mental note of like didn't see any of these on
[2937.2s] hillops plate as i've pushed mine off to the side by the way when you do that you look like
[2943.7s] a child that's okay so why did you push the the things over there off to the plate are you
[2951.9s] allergic to those things uh well i do have some food allergy issues oh okay that seems fair
[2961.8s] it seems fair right if he has allergy we don't want to kill our friends with the food that
[2966.4s] we create heck no but i'm just saying how you know you have an allergy i thought i
[2970.2s] could have killed you each with a baguette hole in your tummy it would have expanded and exploded
[2975.8s] and it could have been very bad which is why i gave some back to mrs rubenstein
[2980.6s] it was very kind of you to return them thank you for saying so i might make some tea before
[2985.8s] we before we head out on whatever we need to be doing which i'm sure is something
[2990.3s] about a three-eyed ghost guy so is anyone wanting tea uh yeah i would have some tea sure
[2997.8s] yeah tea uh i'm okay i'm quite full okay i brought up some mint tea it's on the other
[3005.2s] end of the kitchen the three of you are sitting around the table so there was a bit of a
[3011.4s] kerfuffle when i came back in are you are you okay you were solid was there like an argument
[3015.9s] of some sort no he just i mean he went through all the effort of making this
[3021.3s] this omelet for everyone and then i didn't want to eat part of it i think just think
[3025.0s] he took it personally it wasn't anything personal okay well that's fair and you enjoyed
[3034.1s] your omelet i i liked my omelet i mean there was i don't know that i could have identified
[3039.9s] everything in it i was pretty hungry i just ate it but the sully cooked the foods very
[3044.6s] often it was the first time i've really seen him go to at least for breakfast yeah but
[3049.5s] he did used to be a food at here so right that's true here yeah so i mean it's
[3056.2s] he has experience with it called the three food of tears go around oh there's four of us though
[3062.7s] yeah so well there was actually four of those guys too right good call good call with the
[3069.0s] we are the three four food of tears the three four two tears look at that's combining words
[3075.0s] and making fun sully comes back over with the tea i don't know if there's travel mugs but there
[3083.5s] are now uh there's like like i don't know like a water skin but you know thicker so that you
[3090.9s] don't burn yourself there's like fur on the outside and it keeps beverages warm yeah absolutely
[3097.1s] so i hand those out all right it's mint tea it's a little hot it's actually going to be
[3102.8s] perfect for you know the mixture of the bread and the eggs and all that stuff just
[3107.1s] means real good for settling your stomach afterwards you know that is super cool all
[3112.6s] right i know a lot about herbs i used to be an herbalist oh that is an actual thing what a
[3118.7s] change wow it's a job that he actually might have had now we don't really know that's right
[3127.4s] i would make lists of all of the herbs you are and i would give them to different people with
[3133.4s] different reasons to use them you are what they call a mystery wrapped inside of an enigma
[3140.3s] wrapped inside of something else that is kind of rude to talk about somebody's enigma
[3145.3s] i mean you were talking about my enigma well it was on display it sounds like
[3150.2s] sorry i get it it was graphic don't know where to go with that
[3159.8s] all right where are we too everybody i made breakfast i can't be expected to also make a
[3164.6s] plan you guys well what do we want to do do we want to try and find ken i mean that
[3169.1s] seemed to kind of kind of dry up dead dry dry up like a little husk get it guys
[3178.2s] get it dried up like his little husk that fell off his little tiny body yes sorry i got
[3185.5s] confused when you were talking about the the joke you were making with then he screamed ken's
[3190.6s] dead yeah yeah it seemed like an inappropriate time to make a joke but i didn't know what
[3196.2s] things were gonna get so serious right at that moment so do you get okay i'd like your level
[3201.9s] of inappropriateness glim do you do you give up on ken you seem so um like he was the other
[3207.8s] half of your whole attached at the hip that was that's funny because he was very close to
[3212.8s] that part you guys are funny today um yeah no i don't know you know it's just like
[3221.6s] you know i just don't even know is it even worth it i'm fine nothing that comes out of me
[3228.2s] can be bad i'm uh i mean okay okay sure so so we're not looking for the kin what i mean
[3241.8s] if we stumble across i'm sure all right well you let us know if you get a feeling or you
[3248.4s] miss him and you want to you let us know because okay it's your he's your lump so
[3254.6s] well what about hillops lump yeah we have not found my lump yet but we figured that ken and
[3260.0s] barry were together and they were having a good time i mean you have to think the two lumps would
[3264.9s] meet up i mean who else do they know i don't know if all lumps know each other i feel like
[3270.4s] maybe you're being really presumptuous maybe that's sorry that's my bad you know what
[3277.0s] they say about presumpting what do they say about presumpting don't do it's rude
[3282.1s] oh that is what they say yeah very popular saying here uh well if we're not gonna try
[3288.3s] to track down the lumps maybe we should look into these demon gates oh yeah tell me about
[3296.9s] the demon gates well i don't know about them that's why i said we should look into them
[3302.2s] oh yeah no fair enough fair enough maybe like a library or maybe someone here at the at the
[3307.7s] temple knows glim yeah i mean we can ask the head priestess here she might know
[3313.6s] uh you head downstairs and uh she's busy kind of just tidying up in the uh in the main
[3321.0s] temple room she sees you come down and says oh uh good good sleep everybody
[3329.4s] well i mean i had a very strange dream but generally
[3333.0s] yes i think so good good uh sully i heard you walking around last night was everything okay
[3340.1s] oh yeah everything was fine good just you know thought i heard something
[3347.1s] oh late got a little scared i i understand i understand well just know we
[3355.0s] not nobody really comes to try and break into the temple so you should you should be okay
[3359.8s] you should be safe here i know it's just weird stuff's been happening man
[3364.5s] do tell do tell me well what has been happening that is weird i mean a few things
[3369.3s] i mean solly had a lump that came out of his body and then seemed to gain sentience and
[3374.5s] was alive and we were following it and then same night we saw a ghostly three-eyed boy
[3381.8s] in a graveyard and he said something very cryptic and scary about the demon gates opening
[3388.6s] and our destiny calling and something about orcas
[3397.1s] do you know anything about any of those things um well i do do hope that that is
[3407.5s] like one of your bad dreams uh no this this was not a dream that one happened
[3413.8s] that one happened yeah he sounds fucked up it does it does sound like that is not good
[3421.0s] um well orcas as you know is the uh is the demon lord of the undead uh and uh really
[3431.5s] wants nothing more than to um rid the world of pain and suffering i guess you could say
[3442.0s] yeah that doesn't sound so bad hot jinx he got me solly wait for it he wants to rid the world of
[3452.2s] pain and suffering by making everyone undead that sounds less good well i mean don't think about
[3461.0s] it if everybody is undead would you even know right i mean the transition period is more the
[3469.4s] concern and once he is in power that gives him a lot of power to move between planes and worlds
[3479.0s] and i mean that doesn't sound great i don't think we want you know demon demon lord just
[3489.5s] being in control of all of us seems very bad yeah that's uh that's not great yes it seems
[3496.3s] like the the the world has just gotten past something world ending yes
[3504.7s] i i have not heard of any demon gates opening and i hope that they aren't is there like a
[3512.5s] location like demon gate on the corner fifth and sycamore no no um demons aren't supposed
[3522.8s] to be able to to come into the material plane without some sort of
[3531.8s] portal some sort of gateway opening but those gateways don't just exist not like
[3538.1s] not like those of the the fae or the shadow fell which are directly connected to us
[3543.4s] us the abyss and a furnace the nine hells are a little more disconnected in a sense
[3557.0s] there are ways in but there are few and far between and if demon gates are opening
[3563.6s] and that is what has been presented to you
[3567.3s] you that could spell disaster for everyone
[3576.8s] disaster is a middle name
[3597.8s] so
[3620.2s] intro music was by Kavin mcleod of incompetent film music dot i o other music and sound effects
[3626.0s] can be found at epidemic sound dot com thank you to our supporting producers gabriel lynch
[3631.9s] ryan kushman joshua dixon devin michaels cat water flame and jacob madden find out more at
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